


It's Just Polyester

by tenafterfour



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with no happy ending, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, but i listened to the sadder version of it by egg, cause im sad leave me alone, some lines and the title are based on heather by conan gray, song fic kinda??, tsukkiyama - Freeform, yamaguchi doesn't wuv him back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25267687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenafterfour/pseuds/tenafterfour
Summary: Tsukishima keeps a straight face and watches. That’s what he does. He watches for small movements, makes observations, and comes to a conclusion on what to do.It’s what he’s doing when he turns to see Yamaguchi and Yachi standing together in a corner, giggling to themselves, as Yachi is stood in Yamaguchi’s jersey.
Relationships: Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	It's Just Polyester

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are Tsukki's thoughts btw. hope u enjoy >:]

Tsukishima keeps a straight face and watches.

That’s what he does.

He watches for small movements, makes observations, and comes to a conclusion on what to do. 

That’s what he does in volleyball, but also off the court.

And it’s what he’s doing when he turns to see Yamaguchi and Yachi standing together in a corner, giggling to themselves, as Yachi is stood in Yamaguchi’s jersey. The sleeves are a little too long, her fingernails just visible, and the collar sags off the side of her neck. Yamaguchi’s face is bright red and he giggles with her, admiring the way she looks. 

Tsukishima’s face twitches.

He notices the subtle change in his own face when he observes the two. What was that about? It’s obvious Yamaguchi and the small manager have a thing going on. _Why should you care?_

_Why should I care?_

Tsukishima ponders this, trying to convince himself he doesn’t know the answer. He raises his hand to his glasses to put them on and glances over at his best friend again. He watches his eyes. Yamaguchi looks at Yachi with a soft, mesmerized gaze, his blush still evident on his face. Tsukishima watches with a straight face. 

Yamaguchi leans in.

Tsukishima pokes himself in the eye.

Grimacing in pain, Tsukishima properly adjusts his glasses and looks back up. He keeps his straight, unemotional face, as the rest of the team whoops and claps in Yama’s direction. No one notices that of all the people, Yamaguchi’s best friend isn’t over there clapping too. Despite not needing to, Tsukishima adjusts his glasses again. 

_Why do I care?_

The question looms again. Knowing the answer, Tsukishima grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder, angrily. He slinks out of the gymnasium alone and walks in the direction of his house. Normally he’d at least say goodbye to Daichi, maybe Sugawara-san. He’s never said bye to Yamaguchi before because they always left together anyways. Tsukishima feels his chest twisting. The vision of Yamaguchi leaning in replays in his head. He pictures their manager in the medium-sized jersey, too big on her small form. His stomach recoils, this time.

_Why in the hell do you care?!?_

_Go back to the gym, what’s your problem??_

_It’s just a piece of polyester. Polyester and string. What does it matter?_

_You’ve abandoned the one person who cares once again, Kei._

His thoughts swirl and swirl inside, hitting every one of his buttons. On the outside, Tsukishima just shivers. It’s cold out, he tells himself. When he reaches his front porch and pulls out his keys, Tsukishima realizes he’s shaking. The facade is crumbling.

_It’s cold out._

He opens his door. Removes his shoes. Tosses his bag on the ground. Waves a ‘no’ at his mother in the kitchen when she asks if he’s hungry. Tsukishima enters his bedroom and shuts the door, leaning against it.

His straight face is gone.

Tsukishima’s whole body shakes, the tears coming out faster and quicker than he meant for them too. He rips off his glasses and throws them on his desk. Tsukishima collapses to the ground, his chest heaving with every sob. He throws his hand over his mouth to not make any noise, and his throat hurts from holding everything in. 

_You love him._

The answer to Tsukishima’s questions is repeated over and over in his head and he struggles to breathe and let out quiet sobs at the same time.

_You love him and you let him go. He was right there for ten years. Right next to you._

_He was right next to me._

_I love him._

_He loves her._

Tsukishima is leaning against the wall, under his black Karasuno jersey, the large white 11 illuminated by the moonlight coming in from the window. His breathing is slower, but his vision is still blurry from both tears and lack of glasses, and his face hurts.

Suddenly, the door swings open. Tsukishima jumps, startled. The sensation is foreign to him.

“Kei!! I know you’re probably gonna say no, but I think you could use the practice and why are your lights not _holy shit.”_

His older brother stands in the doorway, one hand on the light switch and the other on the doorknob. A dirty volleyball is tucked underneath his armpit, which he lets drop onto the floor. He enters and quietly shuts the door behind him. Tsukishima growls softly as he sees the blurry shape of his brother crouching down next to him.

_“Get out.”_

“Kei-”

_“Akiteru.”_

His older brother ignores him, wraps his long arms around Tsukishima, and hugs him.

Tsukishima’s serious facade has gone out of the window.

Akiteru hasn’t seen his baby brother cry since he was 8. And he hasn’t let Akiteru hug him since the same day. Tsukishima slowly wraps his own arms around his brother’s neck, his bones creaking from being tense. The unfamiliar and shockingly comfortable warmth of a hug from Akiteru has Tsukishima’s tears streaming down again.

“He doesn’t love me,” Tsukishima chokes out from the sob he’s letting out on Akiteru’s shoulder.

Akiteru just hugs his brother tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m projecting okay, i got an ao3 account literally just to post this. my gay ass is also dealing with a boy who doesn’t love me back (╥﹏╥)
> 
> hope u enjoyed !!!!


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